


The Adventures Of Grand High Pepe.

by Hexworthy



Series: Kolivance AU Event 2018 [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Expedition AU, Fluff, General Shenanigans, Getting Together, M/M, Pining in a rainforest, bit in rainforest based on my experiences., especially the centipede, free space au, i just hate centipedes, kolivance - Freeform, kolivance au event, kolivanceauevent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: Part of the Kolivance Au Event.Lance had expected the rain forest to be wet, and muddy. He did not expect the other members of the expedition to catch his eye. so he does the best he does, he pines. He pines in a rain forest, how original. What he doesn't know is that the person he is pining for is doing the exact same.





	The Adventures Of Grand High Pepe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to PurpleSpaceMom for beta'ing!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

No one said doing in a remote rainforest would be easy. The mosquito bites were a never ending stream of misery, having to stare down a snake everytime Lance wanted to take a shit was a thing now, and he missed his mother’s food. That and the fact that he was a marine biologist in the middle of the fucking rainforest, he was here for his friends while he was waiting and he belonged in the ocean. Not a damn mountain. His expedition didn't start for another few weeks due to ongoing recovery from tropical storms, the waters were too unsafe to dive in, and boats were being rebuilt. So he had two options - stay in the city or go into the rainforest with his co-workers. The rainforest won. He could be of some help while he waited. After all, it wouldn't be _that_ bad could it?

Lance was proved wrong. Rainforests were evil and out to get him. It was his first day, and he was in base camp. He thought he had seen some big wasps in his time, but the one that met him in the shower cubicles were fucking huge. Like, why, no, they didn’t need to be that big, just no. It didn’t get any better when he found a huge tarantula over the toilet seat. Though after screaming in surprise he realised there actually was a toilet seat. He was given a tour around by the camp manager Allura, who along with Shiro, Coran, and Matt managed the base and satellite camps. 

Then he was thrown in the deep end.

On the up side, he thought as he walked up a stupidly steep slope, he was with his good friends Hunk, Keith, and Pidge. At least Pidge was sharing his abject misery. She was an ornithologist and had the luxury of just sitting and waiting for birds. They were having jungle induction. They had been in base camp for all of two hours before they were in the forest with a local guide. 

“Ugh why is this so steep?!” bemoaned Pidge, using anything for leverage when she had to climb up, her bag nearly the same height as her. 

“Because it’s a _mountain_ rainforest, Birdbrain,” Keith replied and Lance joined in with his laughter. 

“Be careful of any snakes or spiders. They like the bromeliads, guys,” mentioned Hunk, being ever cautious, which was probably a good thing. It was their first day, and they definitely did not want to be airlifted to Miami, over three hours away over Cuba, for any antivenom. Lance had to laugh at the irony, flying over his home to be able to survive to go home. 

After much complaint from Lance and Pidge along with teasing from Hunk and Keith, their guide, Jeff, brought them to a small camp. 

“We will camp here for the night and then take the path down to the clearing. It’s the path on the right. To the left is where you will go if you need to use the loos. Once hammocks are up, meet me up here.”

They trudged down the gentle slope, and came to the clearing, slightly surprised to find that there were already a few hammocks already made up. He pulled his from the top of his rucksack and opened it up. And found he was completely useless. He was used to huts and sleeping on the floor under nets on boats, not this??!! He was fortunate enough that Hunk took pity on him and showed him how. 

He tied his ropes to two trees, one already supporting another hammock, but at least he knew it would be a good one. He then put in the actual hammock and tied it to some smaller sticks and tied over the rain protector. He stood back and looked proud. He tried to climb on and after what seemed to be an eternity of squirming, he got in. It was high enough that he was a good metre off the floor and his legs just touched the floor if needed. 

Dinner that night was interesting. It was mostly pasta with dried vegetable stock and some other dried veg that was added to form a noodle soup. Then there was a rustle of leaves and bursts of laughter as four men made their way to the camp. 

“Is there any food left?” The tallest asked as they lay down their stuff to join them.

“Yeah, we just finished. How are you, Kolivan?” Keith replied, and by now Lance was staring and vaguely registered that Keith knew Kolivan. He was caught by the long hair that looked to be dyed silver and purple that the man was pulling off surprisingly well. He needed to keep himself in check. He was here to help his friends while the place he would be staying was rebuilt, not thirst over someone he had literally just seen. 

The group of four sat opposite them, and Lance nudged Keith, getting his attention. 

“How do you know them?” 

“I’ve been on expeds with them before. That's Kolivan, Antok, Thace, Ulaz and I don't think Regris is here. Last I heard of him he was in New Zealand looking at some not a lizard lizard. I should check up on him when I can get signal again. Probably been mobbed by a Kakapo or wetta or something stupid.” Keith looked wistful. They were very close and they often ended up on expeditions together. It came as no surprise when they made their relationship official.

The four larger guys soon turned their attention on the others and immersed themselves in conversation, introduced themselves and talked into the night. Stories from past expeditions, funny stories about report writing and general mischief. Lance learnt a lot about them. Thace and Ulaz worked with inverts and were currently studying bees and dung beetles with the occasional moth. Antok was small mammals, specialising in bats and Kolivan researched large mammals. When asked, Lance explained he researched sharks, and their migratory patterns and was a specialist in his field by mistake. All because he named a whale shark Blue. 

Soon night drew in and the canopy engulfed them all in darkness. Rain started to fall in heavy drops. They all ran for their hammocks and Lance had the shock of his life when Kolivan was in the one next to his. 

“Will our stuff be all right out like this?”

“As long as it's under the hammock and your boots are safe from intruders then you're good to go to bed.” Kolivan said as he laced up his boots over the tongue that had been flipped down. “Also you’ll want an insect stick just in case. You’d rather want a stick to be bit than your hand.”

“Yay” he murmured darkly as he struggled to get into the hammock, marvelling at how easy Kolivan had made it. Who embarrassingly was watching him struggle, his head popping out and his silver braid hanging down. 

“Ok, so open up the velcro, place your butt in it so you kinda sit. It supports you, then you can do whatever. You’ll be fine. Sleep well, Lance.” He disappeared into his hammock with a light illuminating the inside. 

Lance did as Kolivan said, and after a while got the hang of it. 

“Forgot to say, change socks now, sleep diagonally, and use tomorrow’s clothes as a pillow.” Kolivan's muffled voice came from his hammock. Thunder rolled over head and Lance saw lightning illuminate everything. He managed to get comfy and Kolivan was right about sleeping diagonally. It had taken a while to get comfy, but he managed it, the sound of the forest deafening but surprisingly nice. 

As he was on the brink of sleep, he heard the movement of the undergrowth, then a curious snuffling, as _something_ smelt the air. He felt something moving against his back and kept still. He felt it pass, and he breathed again. He tried to sleep and images of Kolivan ran through his mind, chasing his thoughts and causing a small seed to develop in his heart. 

The next morning, he woke to Kolivan’s cooing. He was bent over massive pawprints and a few scratch marks on nearby trees. Lance decided he didn't want to know, but if Kolivan was _cooing_ it was probably something like a jaguar. Breakfast was basic at best but filling and they were told to bring some towels and their swim gear. 

They all left that morning, the Bro’s of Mamora, as Thace was unsuccessfully calling them, with Lance and co. with the guide headed off into the jungle. It was hell, Lance had decided. It was leafy and slippery and he was swearing as he was having to descend a mud slope that was practically vertical. He hurt and he wanted to be back on the beaches waiting for Blue. At least he wasn't the only one suffering. Hunk had also fallen one too many times. 

They managed to get to the satellite camp within an hour, and Lance knew he would be coming back to it. The camp itself was named Cantilles, and Lance was already eyeing up where he was going to camp. They had a lunch that had already been prepared, and he was glad to sit on the makeshift bench and tables and was marveling at the camp itself. He decided the rainforest was good but nothing felt like the ocean.

He was caught out in his marveling by Pidge’s snickers and a set of eyes that had fallen on him. Eyes that had quickly averted themselves, caught in the act. He chatted with the guys he ate with. Their guide, Jeff, was to be helping Pidge with her ornithology, as well as Antok with his herpetology - apparently he was frog and snake mad. Antok had gone on a bit of a rant about how the chytrid fungus was decimating frog populations and how he just wanted to hear one frog croak. However, it was late in the frog seasons so all he was finding were the tiddlers who were late to the party. 

Thace and Ulaz were exchanging glances and decided to keep eating, laughing at everyone else’s antics. They explained that they studied Habitats, gaining knowledge about the amount of trees, average age and that they would have each one of them at some point helping them. Then there was the the man who had been staring. Kolivan. The man who had a hammock next to his, who had helped him last night, who for some reason, he couldn't keep his eyes off. 

They finished lunch and made their way down to the waterfall. Pidge joined another ornithologist and some of their female research assistants behind the trees while the others striped off and changed. Lance knew there was no shame or dignity any longer. But as soon as he was in his trunk he swam straight into the waterfall. The plunge pool was deep and the thunder of the water and the feel of the water on his head felt good. It was great to be back in the water. Plus there weren’t any sand flies. 

He let the water rage around him and floated on his back, taking in the sun rays. He got caught in on the flow of the water, and was gently pushed back to the rocks the rest of the group were resting on. Hunk and Pidge ended up playing chicken with the others downstream in a second plunge pool. He waded through the water to the waterfall and found a rock behind it. He was surprised however when a burly wall of muscle pulled himself out the water next to him.

“Nice here, isn't it?”

“Yeah, not my field, but I’m basically a glorified RA right now.”

“Wanna help me with my stuff? Large animals put most people to sleep. Its mostly camera traps and being pelted with actual shit from howler monkeys.” 

“You know what? Yeah. The name’s Lance.”

“Kolivan, You didn't really say much during dinner, so what do you do?”

“I do marine biology with specialisation of migratory and behavioural patterns in whale sharks, and just sharks in general. They’re misunderstood. Don’t get me wrong they're not puppies, but they are curious and just deserve to be left in peace. I’m seeing more deep sea sharks coming up and like? No?”

Kolivan chuckled and leaned back against the rock and damn Lance would be lying if he said it didn't show off Kolivan’s chest. Lance was bi and his heart wouldn't be able to take it. Kolivan stood a full foot and a half above him and damn, he felt like he was in love immediately. 

“You can help me then. Most of my research is already done. I’ve tagged the animals I need to and now it's more me just chilling and helping where I can. I know marine biologists run on different times and my other colleagues at the other camps have more work than I did.”

 

They stayed like that for a while, just floating and chatting about their specialisations. Turns out Kolivan was also just a big cat too. Lance had told him some of the stories from his dives or some of the personalities he had seen in sharks he had tagged. The heat of the day started to cool and they dried off by basking in the sun. They had spent most the afternoon there and the trek back was just as arduous but a lot more pleasant. They were all chatting and hating that mud slope together. Dinner wasn't that bad but the night was full of storms. They went to bed when the temperatures dropped too much. Kolivan wished Lance a very soft goodnight. If Lance had not known it had been Kolivan, he would have blamed it on one of the RA’s who looked at him like the sun was shining out of his butt. 

The next day saw them hiking through the jungle with all their gear that they had taken down earlier. It was hard going but fun. The undergrowth was slippery but Lance found it was worth the hardship with what he was learning about the jungle. He found that there were pine trees in the rainforest where the water that the trees used was more acidic, favouring the evergreen trees. Howler monkeys screeched above and swung on overhead and bromeliads bloomed everywhere. Orchids grew from branches and the occasional snake stared at them from a distance.

The next camp was set up quickly and Lance found Kolivan’s hammock next to his own again, Kolivan gave him a small smile with a blush dusting his cheeks. Lance couldn't help but giggle as his own blush bloomed on his face. He let his mind wander to what those arms woulds feel like around… No, Bad Lance, he thought. He probably wouldn't even see Kolivan after this and he couldnt be selfish, like he always was, wanting too mouch or not giving enough of what another person wanted. Keith and Regris were that one couple that made long distance work. The exception. He couldn't have that. No one stuck around long enough, it was usually his fault anyway. 

He didn't want to feel the pain of being cheated on again or being told he wasn't worth the wait, that it was selfish of him to go on the expeditions he did. He knew he was selfish and tried his best to avoid it but in the end, he always got the same reaction. That he was self absorbed and incredibly selfish. 

That night they all had a surprise, something Lance was glad of as he _really_ didnt want to dwell in that headspace. A build your own bug from twigs and whatever they found on the floor competition, it sounded fun. Kolivan partnered with Lance and Lance’s heart spluttered. They fumbled building their bug, struggling to get it to remain together, naming it the Greater Lesser Spotted Bucket-Head Beetle, thus as is tradition, henceforth known as Jeff. There were accidental touches that sent his heart and mind reeling. He thought he saw Kolivan look at him with pride when they were announced the winner, much to Pidge’s disgust. Despite the fact that hers was just a twig with a leaf on it. Then again later on he saw Kolivan looking at him with fondness but? He couldn't comprehend why or let himself think that way, it was never worth the heartache.

The night was filled with tossing and turning. Loud insects and an uneasy feeling that settled low in his gut. 

 

The trek back to base camp was easier. They traveled through the forests in relative ease, Lance picking up the pace dramatically as he traveled down the gentler slopes. He was on a roll. He chatted in spanish to Jeff and learnt a lot about their guide and how he had got into ornithology. He was never so glad to be back in base camp and knew he'd be there for a day or so before going back to Cantilles. 

He ended up in a tent with Hunk and Keith and he busied himself where he could. Helping with the light traps and being attacked by a rather over friendly moth. He went on herp walks and helped with Thace and Ulaz’s habitat surveys. 

The meals felt good too, reminding him of his own family’s cooking, especially the pastelitos, and he had forgotten what fresh fruit truly tasted like. Especially the mangoes. Then there was the campwide cluedo. Lance was given a name, a murder weapon, and a location. He decided that killing one of the RAs with a wrap in the science tent was a long shot and gave up, but out of personal pride refused to be killed. 

Then as they were getting ready for the trek back to Cantilles, Kolivan snuck up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder, and began to recite,

“Roses are Red, Violets are blue You’re now dead I've just killed you!”

“Fuck you, Kolivan. Fuck You. Off you must fuck.” Lance yelled, not caring about the stares he was getting. He continued to pack even more viciously as he had one week left. But he couldn't help replay the deep laughter that cause Kolivan to roll on the floor laughing, an unexpected change from the usual stoic appearance. 

The hike back was easier that the first time. He managed to snag the hammock he had eyed up earlier too. It was by the light traps so it helped that no one wanted to be around the moths, and he was near the main area of the camp. What he hadn't expected was Kolivan next to him. He just smiled and waved and lay his bag down on the floor and wandered down to the eating area. Lance climbed into his hammock and yelled into the makeshift pillow. Why did Kolivan have to be like _that?_

Lance wanted to believe that Kolivan could like him, but he knew he wasn't worth that attention. He may play the part of the flirtatious heart breaker but he was just a boy from Cuba. He ultimately didn't matter and needed to look after himself. He was enjoying the forest but he wanted to be in the ocean away from it all, and just be for once. 

It didn't take long for all hell to break loose. For most of them, it was only the start of the season more or less and the camps were already hotspots for stir crazy scientists. _It_ had started in Guanales. They were having an issue with missing socks and other items of clothing. It was entirely possible that it was just people misplacing them, but they had also discovered a new species of click beetle, that contrary to the Jeff tradition was named Pepe. 

Then over the radio, Guanales effectively went to shit as the scientists declared revolution. They had originally named Pepe, El Bandido De Los Calcetines - complete with wanted posters and an astounding amount of two Chockis as a reward. Then they decided. Scientists love bugs, Scientists loves food, Scientists love…. Revolution. 

They threw down the metaphorical gauntlet and declared independence from base camp and became the independent republic state of Gaunales, all hail the Grand High Pepe. Capuca then sent a declaration of war via the jungle mail and somehow, Lance had become an Honorary citizen of Gaunalese with the title Fish Pepe, along with a Chief Pepe, Their Holiness Priest Pepe, Chef Pepe and Traitor Pepe. 

To say Lance and the rest of them were in hysterics was an understatement. They had other people staying for lunches when they were passing through or needed to get to specific trails and the stories were getting wilder. He wouldn't have put it past any of them to actually be true. He had some pretty weird stories from his longer ventures in the research boats.

Somehow he found he had spent a fair amount of time with Hunk, Pidge and Keith on their trails, as well as time in that waterfall. Without fail they found time to bask and to shower and to relax. The others joined them, especially Kolivan and Antok. 

Lance liked Antok. He was usually a good laugh and was over excited about so much. It reminded him of why they were all here. They were passionate about their fields and wanted to make the world better. Antok became good friends with them all, and though he was mostly silent due to hunting skittish reptiles, he was good fun. So were Thace and Ullaz, who had bought their own double hammock, prefering to not be away from each other. 

Kolivan was a mystery. He seemed to want to be around Lance, and he thought he was reading the signs wrong. Maybe Kolivan did want to be with him, but no, he wouldn't allow his heart to hope. It was futile and he could only mend his heart so many times before it gave out.

It was getting close to the end of his time in the rainforest and he sat on the rocks with Hunk and a rather bedraggled Pidge. Keith soon joined them as he dried off from his swim in the plunge pools. They were catching up and just chilling then the subject of Kolivan came up.

“So, Kolivan seems pretty friendly?” queried Keith, grabbing a towel to get his hair somewhat drier. 

“I guess, he talks to me and he’s usually here when I am but that doesn't mean anything, stop looking at me like that you two, you know I dont date anymore.”

“But dude! He is good! I was helping him with the traps and damn the amount of times I heard your name? He’s a good guy. Give him a chance. You will always have us buddy,” replies Hunk, drawing him in for a hug. Hunk really did give the best hugs. 

“Look, you deserve to be happy. Just talk back. You might not even like him that way.” _But I will. I think I already do..._ “You have the day off tomorrow then you're back at base camp. Just try.”

“Or,” Pidge added, a gleeful look came upon her, “You get to help sort out all the dung beetles.”

“EW GROSS NO. PIDGE IS OFFICIALLY UNFRIENDED” Yelled Lance and lightly pushed her into the mound of her clothes. The guides were laughing and some of the RA’s then started a water fight with them. The RAs were uni students and still finding their niches but damn they gave it as good as they got when it came to that water fight.

They made their way back to the camp laughing and joking and he caught Kolivan’s eye. He knew it would end badly, but maybe...The way he looked at him, it made Lance want to melt and know what those arms felt like in a hug, how he might even want that.

Fuck it.

Antok and Kolivan had invited him on a herp walk that evening, with a fellow scientist, down in the streams that ran down by the camp. A few others tagged a long, but suspiciously Keith and Hunk had decided to help with the small mammals and Pidge had gone to bed early as they would have to be up stupid early for mist netting. 

Lance saw Antok nudge Kolivan and waded past him, ruffling Lance’s hair like he was a kid, full of affection. He had long since gotten his phd at this point and it confused him. 

“Lance?” 

Shit. Lance turned to look at Kolivan. Who seemed nervous. Kolivan did not seem to be the person to get nervous over anything. He had fit into the rainforest life so easily and effortlessly lead the RA’s and when some sixth formers came to help, he organised them well. Nothing phased him except Lance. Maybe, as usual, Lance had interpreted everything wrong. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Probably some idiot scientists who should be in bed.” Kolivan dead panned, and Lance had to give it to him, it was true. Lance really wanted to be back in his hammock sleeping. 

“Yes, thanks for helping me that first night, it helped a lot. I’m used to boats or the floor.”

 

“I haven't done anything to upset you, have I?” Kolivan asked and the hestiancy killed Lance.

“No no, not at all I just um. I’m just bad at all this. I’m in the way half the time and I want to back in the ocean. I’m only here because the storms took some fixing and Blue wouldn't arrive for a while. I like you enough, you're nice.”

“For what it's worth, so are you. If you would permit, would I be able to come with you? There's some things I’d like to see, especially the sealife reserve.”

“Sure I guess, I leave tomorrow. You don't have to if you still have research?”

“My research has concluded. I was following a jaguar I’ve been researching. I named her Blade. She had cubs last year and she keeps going out of bounds. My camera traps keep getting tapir. When we don't want them we do, irony really.”

“Oh, then sure. Why not? Do you know how to dive?”

“I can. It’s been a while but I can. I know the nature reserve is pristine. I've wanted to dive there for a while.”

Lance blushed. He knew this was dangerous territory, and Kolivan seemed to have noticed.

“Hey, um, I don't have to go if it makes you uncomfortable, if _I_ make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I’ve stepped beyond my bounds.” Kolivan turned to walk further downstream, his shoulders deflated and like all joy had been sucked out of him. 

“Wait! I, oh fuck it. I think you're pretty cool and i would actually like it? Just no one's ever asked or taken much of an interest. In me or my work.”

“Then they have been blind,” Kolivan replied sincerely, a small smile and a look of pain crossed his face.

“Are you flirting with me?” 

“I might be, if you are amicable to it, I am. If not I am merely just a friend with an interest in your work.”

Lance died right there. He was sure his tombstone would have something snarky about him at Pidge’s request. 

“Yes,” he finally breathed. “Just yes.”

Kolivan extended a hand to help him down a particularly evil boulder. They had caught a few _Plectrohyla exquisita_ and other frog metamorphs, but it wasn't as successful as it could have been. 

Then the heavens opened unexpectedly. Lance burst out into laughter, and slipped a bit, but fell into Kolivan’s arms. They were at the back of the group and quickly regained their composure as Antok walked back with a knowing smile. Lance then saw why when he saw Kolivan’s look of wonder and awe that was aimed solely at him. 

He smiled to himself, and he allowed himself to embrace the emotions he had pushed away. Kolivan liked him. Kolivan _liked him._ Not even the rain was dampening his spirit. They reached the camp again and sat under the shelter, towels wrapped around their heads and a cup of tea. They sat on the logs together, Antok conversing with Hunk and Keith. They turned to look at them, giggled, and went back to what was probably plotting. 

Lance started to lean on Kolivan and damn, that chest, those muscles. He let himself indulge in the feeling of being wanted, when Kolivan’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer. They wandered up to their hammocks. The nearest people were further up the slope in tents, so nobody else but them heard their sweet good nights, saw the soft looks or the brief contact of held hands.

That night was filled with warmth and the thunderstorm made him feel electric, alive. 

The next morning came. It was time to get up anyway so he did. He got changed in his hammock, something he had finally perfected, and popped his head out through the velcro at the bottom of his hammock. He looked down to see where his stuff was and then he screamed. 

“OH HOLY MOTHER FUCK, JESUS CHRIST ON A BICYCLE GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME OH MARY JESUS AND JOSEPH GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER AWAY FROM ME. FFUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK. JUST HELL FUCK NO, FUCK OFF, OFF IT MUST FUCK JUST. NO. SHIT SHIIT SHIT!!!” He screamed at the top of his voice, not caring who woke up, as a giant centipede writhed and squirmed everywhere. He could hear it hissing angrily and the fangs, oh gods, the fangs. Just hell fucking no. 

“Lance, are you ok?” Kolivan asked from his own hammock, having been awakened by his screams.

“NO I'M FUCKING NOT. THERE'S A GIANT MOTHERFUCKER ON FIRE CENTIPEDE AND I WANT IT GONE. GOD. PLEASE. JUST AHGHAHGAHGAGHAGH!!”” Lance continued. He wanted no part of it. It had too many legs and now he was sure he had a phobia for life. 

“Awwww is Lancey Lance scared of a lickle bug?” came Pidge’s teasing. Of course she had got back in time to mock him in his hour of need, surely filming it to boot. 

“YOU WOULD BE TOO IF IT WAS ALL OVER YOUR SHIT TOO!” It was the biggest hell no he had ever had in his twenty eight years of life. He refused point blank to come out from his hammock. When one of the invert team arrived with tongs, the damn woman was cooing over it, calling it a precious baby. It took a bit more coaxing to get him out and even then it took a lot. He decided to go to the bogs and on the way back found himself face to face with a wilson’s pit viper. Lying in the middle of the track. It was not his day. He called out gently to the camp manager who then looked at him and got a herp member. It made their day as they had been looking for one for the last few weeks. 

“Can I just get out of here now?” he moaned over his breakfast and tea. 

“One more hour. You can do it. It's one night in base camp then we are off in the morning when new people arrive.” Kolivan soothed, one of the few people who was not mocking him, even if he was laughing gently at the theatrics. 

“Yeah it is.” Lance said, looking dreamily at Kolivan. Though they had danced around the subject, they had not directly said that they liked each other. Lance was content with this. He could indulge in feelings and maybe he wouldn't get his heart broken when it inevitably ended, as he knew it would. 

The hike up to the radio station was hell. The mud slopes were worse than ever after the night's thunderstorms, and the leaf undergrowth was slippery. Once they had cleared the station it was smooth sailing. The temperatures soared and they kept travelling faster the closer they got to base camp, near enough that they started running. They had enjoyed it, and Lance found he might actually miss the forest but damn he wanted to see Blue again, His Best Girl. 

He hadn't realised how comfy he had it in the hammocks until he slept on the tent floor. He was sharing with Kolivan, something he had not expected. Their stuff was inside as well and after persuading a massive fuck off spider to leave, they clambered inside and tried to make themselves comfy. 

The funny thing about the forest was that during the day it could be roasting your skin to a crisp but the evenings were completely baltic. Lacne didn't do well in the cold. He was lanky despite his muscles and he felt every bit of the cold. At least the hammock kept in his body heat. 

As if on cue, Kolivan pulled Lance closer and enclosed him in his big arms, cocooning him and tangling their legs together. They were cuddling and Lance couldn't escape it. 

“Mm cold,” was the only explanation and he wasn't gonna lie, cuddling with Kolivan for warmth wasn't a bad thing at all. It could only have been better if very real feelings were attached. Lance wasn't stupid. He knew it would pass, and he would be left to travel the seas again. 

 

They arrived on the island within a day of leaving base camp. They could tell where storms had destroyed everything but it was tropical and the sun was out. Lance let out a whoop of joy then immediately recoiled as a sandfly flew near him.

“Get away devil beast,” he hissed and he felt the soft rumble of laughter, not realising he had jumped into Kolivan.

They found their huts easily enough. There were other biologists milling around getting their gear together. Lance got to his hut and found Kolivan had been assigned the same one. He put down his tracking gear with his dive equipment and tipped out his bag. He started a pile of clothes to wash. That was the one good thing about this facility. There was a wash station. He was gonna use it as he wanted to spend a lot of his time back in his shorts. He explained as much to Kolivan who dumped most of his stuff in a wash pile as well. 

They made their way down to the mess area and collected their dinners on the way. It had been too long since he had savoury pastelitos that good and it made him slightly homesick. Kolivan sat there just watching him with a small smile on his face as Lance caught up with some fellow biologists. Some were habitat like Ulaz and Thace, while others studied octopi and other marine life. 

“So, there was us, looking for this damn octopus, only to find it had camouflage itself as a rock!”

“Sounds almost as bad as when I was writing my report and had to report that the octopus had disappeared. The little fucker had escaped. Our cameras caught it. And now oops, I'm a leading expert in Octopi intelligence!” The two people bumped fists with shit eating grins. 

“Sounds like me really, I go diving in Cuba and I see a whale shark, think nothing of it and take a photo because its blue-green rather than a dark green right? I go to Australia on one of my first expeds and who do I find? The same one. I begged the leader to let me tag her and now I’m leading the way for whale shark migratory patterns!” 

Lance loved talking about Blue, it was one of the few things he could talk about without people getting bored but even then he cut himself short when people started to lose interest. This was such a time, he had talked too long and too fast and he shut himself up pretty quickly, just about content to listen in and give murmurs of agreement or horror. He was surprised to when he felt a weight rest on his back, which gave him a small rub. He looked over to Kolivan who looked at him like he was worth something, with a bit of sadness in his eyes. Lance gave a small rueful smile back and carried on with his meal. 

He left soon after to get his dive gear ready, along with his radio tracker. He also brought more tags as Blue’s was due to fall off, and if he had any others he could tag it would help immensely.

“You can dive in the shallows if you want to see the coral and stuff. I’m sure one of the habitat guys would appreciate the help,” he said over his shoulder, when he heard Kolivan enter, despite the attempt at stealth. 

“If you want me to. I wanted to know if you were ok? You went pretty quiet. Have those people ever been mean to you?”

“No, I just know when to shut up that's all. Nobody should have to hear me if they don't want to. No one needs that. Thank you at least, for checking up on me. You didn't need to. I’m ok, I promise. “

“Lance,” he could hear the heartbreak. He heard Kolivan move closer. Here came the pity.

But it never came.

“Can I hug you?” Kolivan asked, and Lance nodded, crumpling into his arms. 

“Hey, shh, it's fine. I want to hear you. You have so much to say. I don't say much. I hide everytuing and wear a mask to make sure people don't see my emotions. You say them, you show them. You're such a beautiful supernova. You're more than a firework. You're you and you deserve to be heard.” Kolivan pulled Lance into him, murmuring into his neck, showing the love he must have been holding in, only showing snippets. 

“I think it may have been something at first sight really, watching you talk about things that mean a lot to you with your friends, while trying to get a fire started quicker than Keith. I then got to know you. I want to know everything, good, bad, ugly or just beautiful.”

Lance just sobbed louder. Kolivan held him as they moved their sleeping mats closer together and interlocked the mosquito nets. Lance fell asleep to fingers carding through his hair as his mind went mercifully blank. It was better than the last time he was like this, the loneliness hurt. He thought he felt the ghost of a kiss when consciousness left him, but he could have easily been wrong. 

 

Lance woke up with a weird sense of ease, like everything was ok for once. His inner voice was calm. He had always been told he was being too selfish by whoever and he had turned that all inwards. But hearing that, that someone wanted to listen. Wanted to see him good or bad. He felt the silent tears run down. 

Kolivan soon stirred afterwards, and Lance allowed himself to revel in the warmth the sun and Kolivan gave him. Maybe he would confess, when all was said and done. But for now, he wanted to know one thing. 

“About last night, you said, well, things. If I ever needed, you’d give me the kick up the arse that I would need right, no matter what right?”

“Why you asking this?”

“Because I’m selfish, and I can’t see where. I can't be selfish. I push people away. I'm too much or too little whatever is the worst at the time. That's not who I want to be. I don't know why I am even telling you. I spend so much time isolated, voluntarily too, on the ocean and I just.” Lance sighed and got up. 

“I think I’m gonna head out. I'm so sorry Kolivan.”

He picked up his diving gear and headed out to meet his dive buddy. He shook hands and was silent on the boat out in the ocean, the gentle waves lapping at the boat, the azure blues surrounding him, making him feel a bit less, well, present. Like he was escaping, even if it was only ever a temporary fix. 

He was here to do a job however. He slipped into the water and started to look around at who was nearby. There were familiar whale sharks swimming by him and below. He took his clipboard and started to tick them off one by one. Blue hasn't arrived yet it seemed. 

But he was content to swim in the open waters, losing himself in the light refraction. Just being, feeling like he may have been calm, if not for the thoughts that plagued him. No matter what he did, it seemed he could not stop over thinking. 

He resurfaced when his air tank became too low to continue diving safely. 

He went back, logged his findings, and refilled the gas tanks, adjusted his weights and was back on the boat. He avoided the look Kolivan sent him. Damn he was being selfish, but wouldn't he be selfish if he just dumped everything on Kolivan? He didn't know, and he didn't know where the balance was. Everyone was eager to tell him his faults but they never said where that line was. He was grasping at straws. 

He went back out into the ocean and let himself drop down to thirty metres. Occasionally something would boop him but nothing was going to eat him. He swam close enough to the sharks he hadn't already tagged. The tagging itself wasn’t hard, just lining them up was. He couldn't afford to lose a tracker.

He saw his buddy point behind him and there emerging from the blue was a slightly bluer shape. He felt his heart leap when he saw his Beloved Blue swim gracefully to him. Remoras clung to her and a few other fish followed in her wake knowing there would be food where she went. 

For a whale shark she was friendly, or at the least she remembered Lance. He slowly rose, adjusting for the pressure and took the laser measure systems. It recorded Blue’s data as he gently swam at her side, having a conversation with himself. 

_I need to apologise_

_I hope I haven't ruined everything, Blue. I think he actually likes me._

_But what do I do if I fuck up like I always do?_

_It's true, even every single time I say I won't fuck up I do. It’s my fault in the end. This time I just see how so._

_I said I’d apologise!_

_I don't know how I feel about him. I know there's attraction. But how do I feel?_

_Youre right. I’ve gotta try._

He resurfaced after decompressing and hauled himself up onto the boat. The way back he prepared himself for the worst. He braced himself as he entered their hut. He hung up the suit and equipment that wasn't at the dock store room. Then he waited.

He was dozing off under the mosquito netting when he heard them rustle and settle. He sat up and clung desperately onto any remaining courage he had. Kolivan walked in with water running down him from where his braid had come undone. His muscles were yet again on show and Lance realised that he wanted Kolivan, or at the least, to get to know him better and see where these feelings would take him. 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. It was rude and selfish. And nothing I can say will excuse it. You let me be vulnerable and I spat it back in your face and then ignored you. You didn't deserve that.” _You deserve better than me,_ was left unsaid.

“I'm not going to lie. It hurt a lot. But I feel like there's more to this than meets the eye. I want you to trust me Lance, and I want to trust you too! I just don't want to, you know, get somewhere then get hurt. I like you.”

“Kolivan, I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. Can we move forward? I’ll be more honest, I’ll be better, I won't be selfi-”

“Lance, I’m not asking for permission. We are all selfish, and we all have faults. Your friends love you, and the way you talk about your family tells me they do too. I think you know how I feel, but I want to say it. I like you.”

“I like you too, and I want to see where this goes? If you want to?”

Kolivan nodded and kissed Lance's forehead, and he lay himself in Lance’s lap as they sat up against the bags, Lance’s fingers braiding Kolivan's silver hair. He didn't know if it would last, whether they would be content or not, but he was looking forward to seeing what could happen. They had all the time in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> SO most of what happened in the rainforest happened to me. the centipede, the camp "wars" and the trails i used. however the diving and the entire relation ship is completely made up. 
> 
> but seriously 
> 
> CENTIPEDES ARE MOTHER FUCKERS ON FIRE THAT WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN. 
> 
> as usual comements and kudos give me life!! and are hella loved <3


End file.
